My sister wants to get married but she thinks that there may not be the balance needed to support the relationship as need to pursuit happiness together. She loves him but has her doubts everyone in a while. What can she do?
Do you guys onsider she should live with him first and then decide what she REALLY wants to do, without messing up?
Another thing is, people see the age but don’t really consider the feelings inside and don’t seem to see beyond the number.
Obviously marriage ain’t a game, I have talked to her and she has told me about their long and short goals, TOGETHER.
Yes he’s the older.
I really appreciate all of your responses, I will let my sister read them as well to clear her mind out. But as for the “didn’t live her life” part, there’s people who aren’t married or married a person with not such a age difference and haven’t really LIVED their lives as they would’ve liked to. Don’t you think? That’s just my opinion
Yix, it was more than fair what you said, thanks and thank you everyone else, we’re still waiting for more answers with positive perspectives.
#1 by Chase Cardno on March 31, 2010 - 5:30 pm
Doubt it
#2 by Amanda on March 31, 2010 - 5:34 pm
It’s doubtful this relationship would work. The age difference and maturity difference is just too high.
#3 by erica on March 31, 2010 - 5:54 pm
if they are together for a while, I wouldnt be thinking about marrying anyone at 18. He may be a bit too old for her though because he is probably thinking about settling down and she is just starting her life.
#4 by html0000000000000 on March 31, 2010 - 6:10 pm
If she’s the 18 year old, she may want to think twice. That’s awfully young to be making a lifetime commitment. This is not something to be nonchalant about.
#5 by achyled on March 31, 2010 - 7:02 pm
Get a divorce like 1/2 the population.
#6 by LDJ on March 31, 2010 - 7:25 pm
Love knows no age.
#7 by Ethica M on March 31, 2010 - 8:11 pm
eh probably not
#8 by m/(<.>)m/ on March 31, 2010 - 8:14 pm
Absolutely NOT
#9 by super monkey on March 31, 2010 - 8:54 pm
shes not to young but if she wants to drink she has to wait till she’s 21
#10 by sally oh on March 31, 2010 - 9:50 pm
whoa.. i think so if they love each other
#11 by StandTall on March 31, 2010 - 10:23 pm
Do more research on him. Get a PI to follow him.
#12 by Barack Hussein Obama Sr on March 31, 2010 - 10:29 pm
Does she want a husband or a father? TOO much age differential
#13 by sugaree on March 31, 2010 - 10:49 pm
yes, i’m 51 and the girl i live with is 39. it works very well.
#14 by EJ on March 31, 2010 - 11:22 pm
as long as there sure the love each they can marry each other my parents are 8 years apart and my grand parents 12
#15 by motoxlife on April 1, 2010 - 12:20 am
yea is the 29 year old wealthy and is the 18 year old attractive lol and if the 29 year old got a prenuptial then its purely lust no offens =)
#16 by AMAZED on April 1, 2010 - 12:57 am
I really have to say NO.
I mean, that is an 11-year difference. Maturity levels are not compatible, therefore, it probably won’t work out.
#17 by YourLaHire on April 1, 2010 - 1:48 am
If there is doubt, move on.
#18 by Veni on April 1, 2010 - 2:10 am
Nothing if she has doubts then she should work it out and consider moving on.
#19 by paulcondo on April 1, 2010 - 2:19 am
my sister in law was 16 when she meet her husband 28 got marry at 18 been marry together 32 years now
#20 by h s on April 1, 2010 - 3:16 am
Take a step back and look at why she wants to get married. What are their goals both short term and long term. Where are each of them in their lives now. Marriage isn’t easy.
#21 by Arturo G on April 1, 2010 - 3:55 am
No it wont the 18 year is way too young. First of all he has to got to college(hopefully). Then your sis is left to pay everything, bills, rent…etc. So i don’t think it would work
#22 by shoshot44 on April 1, 2010 - 4:05 am
Maybe if the love is real and the feelings are real, it can grow a long way, it’s called real companionship.
#23 by OMG IDK why I married him on April 1, 2010 - 4:27 am
It won’t work out. It rarely ever does. Im assuming he is the older of the two.
#24 by Sam on April 1, 2010 - 5:20 am
I wouldn’t put a lot of faith in such a relationship. Sure, it could work, but what does a nearly thirty-year-old man have in common with a girl who is barely more than a child (no offense to your sister, I’m sure she’s a lovely girl, but she’s only 18 for crying out loud.) She should enjoy her youth and experience life first.
#25 by tweety on April 1, 2010 - 5:51 am
Not for long
#26 by Dadintrouble on April 1, 2010 - 6:09 am
If who ever the younger one is truly truly loves him and is very strong in her commitments, it might work.
Honestly though even at 29 you will grow though your marriage though you have pretty much experienced the things in life that you have wanted too. At 18 you havent and eventually the longing to do things that you feel like missed out will catch up with you.
#27 by diam0nd907 on April 1, 2010 - 6:14 am
Firstly I would like to state that there will always be doubt in a relationship.
Their ages will make things very difficult being that they both are in two totally different stages in their life, and I also understand your concern for your sister. However, do understand that she is at the age where she has to learn to make her own decisions, and I’m sure that their marriage can possibly sustain, but DONT DOUBT!
Just support you sister in her decision and let her know that regardless of what happens, you will always be there for her!
#28 by apple.xd on April 1, 2010 - 6:15 am
I would suggest that they don’t get married yet because she is only 18 but any relationship can work if there is love. i know this couple that are 18 years apart, and they live a very happy life together. so i think it can work but you may have other views.
#29 by Karkie on April 1, 2010 - 6:38 am
when i was 20 my ex was 31. we were together for almost 5 yrs. I sure am glad i am not with him anymore, he just turned 51. YUK! tell her she will regret it later when he’s an old man.
#30 by Brunette wife on April 1, 2010 - 7:08 am
If they love each other and are totally committed to one another then yea it could work.
#31 by KiDd!e on April 1, 2010 - 7:25 am
yes it would because even though ur sis is 18, her maturity level is like if she were older, fact. and like u said age is just a number, is the person inside that matters im 18 my man is 32 and we get along great! we usually never fight and we both love to have fun (and great sex) lol
#32 by Gina on April 1, 2010 - 8:14 am
I think that it CAN work, but that’s not to say that it definetely will work. And yes, I think living with him first is a good choice. When I was 18 I had a 28 year old boyfriend and after living with him for a few months I realized that we didn’t have as much in common as I’d first thought. He was older, tired all the time, never wanted to go out and have any fun, never wanted to do anything that I wanted to do, always wanted to stay home and watch TV, and he was on a completely different level than all of my friends. We just weren’t compatible. Sure I cared for him, but just because two pieces of a puzzle look like they will fit doesn’t mean that they will…
of course your sister and her boyfriend could be different andI hope that she doesn’t get hurt or make a mistake, but yeah I think that it’s better to be safe than sorry and live with the guy first. hope this helped
#33 by bugga111981 on April 1, 2010 - 9:02 am
I really do not think that the age matters that much, although it does a little…
I just honestly from personal experience do not think that any marriage that an 18 year old gets in is going to last. I got married when I was 18, as well as my cousin did, and it lasted all of 2years…my cousins lasted 15 months.
I do not think that anyone is mature enough at that age to get married and she will probably regret it when she is older because she didn’t “live her life” when she was young.
#34 by yix on April 1, 2010 - 9:20 am
Yes, anything and everything is possible in these life… if they love each other anything is possible… obviouly they have to work a lot TOGETHER.. and understand the feelings (both of them) , he´s the older right? he have to understand, she has only 18 years old with many many curious about everything, and she have to be patience with the things he does… i think if they work together to hold this relation, they have 70% even more of possibility… nobody know´s… Good Luck!!
Sorry my english is not good at all.. but i hope u understand what im trying to saying…
#35 by YouAsked4it on April 1, 2010 - 10:11 am
I agree with your observation about “living your life”. Who is in a position to decide what “living your life” means for someone else? If she is happy with this guy, feels secure,loved and fulfilled, that may be exactly what she wants from life. Some people at 18 are quite irresponsible while others know exactly what they want. It’s very much an individual matter.
Immaturity is not always about age. There are plenty of emotionally immature 40 year olds in this world.
There are also other potential advantages to marrying someone older. It’s a known fact that males mature emotionally later than females, so you could probably bring the maturity age gap down a few years. At 29 he’s probably more likely to be responsible and settled than when he was 22, so she may be getting a better deal than you think.
As they grow older, the age difference becomes less significant because the relationship itself and the influence they have on each other, if they are committed, will override that.
The important thing will be whether they are compatible. This is what it’s really all about, whether it’s an 11 year or only a 1 year age difference – the result will be the same. Compatibility is basically determined when two people agree on “whatever it is” that is IMPORTANT to each of them. Add to this, physical chemistry and romantic attraction and you’ve got it made.
Unfortunately, what happens with a lot of couples over time, is that what is important to each partner can change. Age has very little to do with this – the divorce rates being a testimony to that. So they need to communicate together and find out whether they are on the same page here. Do they have enough in common so that when the excitement and lust has subsided, romance and deep friendship will endure?