Posts Tagged Conflict
I Need Good Relationship Advice To Save My Marriage- How Do I Deal With Conflict?
Posted by admin in Relationship advice on August 18, 2010
Many couples in a relationship go through some sort of conflict at some time or other in their married life. However, it is how that conflict is handled that is the key to a successful relationship. If you have come to a cross roads in your relationship and don’ t know which way to turn, then I can empathize with you. A couple of years back I was desperately looking for good relationship advice to save my marriage. The trouble was there was so much conflicting information out there I didn’t know what to believe.
Two years on and my marriage is now stronger than ever, Here are just some of the processes that I found that worked to fix my bad relationship.
Understanding problems
When problems do arise it is sometimes because of a deeper meaning. For example, your partner might be really annoyed that you want to stay up and watch late night television, instead of going to bed when they do. However, it is probably not about the fact that your partner doesn’t want you to watch TV, but it might be down to the fact that your partner thinks that you don’t want to spend as much time with them as you used to. If you are able to recognise these deeper routed problems before they escalate, might help to avoid conflict further down the line.
Changing dynamics
Conflict can be caused through a changing dynamic. So as you go through married life, your circumstances change. The arrival of children into a relationship is a big dynamic change, as is changing your career, or increased workload. These changing circumstances happen in marriage or long term relationship, and are inevitable. However, it is how you deal with that change that will make or break your relationship. You need to acknowledge that a big change has taken place within your relationship and you need to work together, adapt and make that change work for you both.
Communication
Communication is not just about talking! It’ s knowing when to talk and when to listen. Many marriages or relationships breakdown when one partner won’t listen to the other partner, or vice versa. Set aside time each day to ask your partner how their day has been. If maybe they have had a bad day at work, then let them tell you about it! Act as a sounding board, as your partner might not want you to solve their work problems, but letting them talk to you and getting it off their chest will make them feel a whole lot better, and you will feel happier knowing that your partner feels more at ease.
Understanding conflict within the marriage and how to deal with it, is all part and parcel of married life. However, if you learn to apply these tips to your everyday relationship, then chances are, you will be able to deal with conflict in a much more rational way, perhaps even preventing it before it happens.
Relationship Rescue: How to Handle the Schedule Conflict
Posted by admin in Rescue Relationship on August 2, 2009
There are more day to day demands upon the average person right now than at any time in our history. It’s not just the information overload we are constantly bombarded with but also the intrusion into our personal time.
This can become a major relationship issue whether dating or married. Most of us work forty plus hours per week not counting the time spent commuting to and from the job. What about vacation? On average American workers get four weeks per year; that’s not a whole lot of time to relax and recharge your batteries.
Sadly, that’s the way it is in our society and these outside obligations can put a strain on any relationship. It can get to the point where you and your significant other are not even sharing the same time zone anymore.
If things are headed in that direction between you and your significant other then it is essential to do a course direction. If your relationship has already reached that point it is not too late to reclaim some of that quality time you both enjoyed in days gone by.
1. The Daily Vacation
No not the one where you both spend money that you really can’t afford to go to some far off place for a couple of weeks however wonderful.
This vacation consists among other things of finding time to walk around the park or even around your neighborhood. Finding some time in the morning or evening to take a stroll with your significant other can do the both of you a world of good. Do yourself an added favor and avoid talking about pressing family business or concerns. Just take in the view and enjoy each other’s company.
2. Before The Rush
It seems like the minute you wake up, your clock is yelling “GO”. From there you jump immediately into the routine that dominates our lives. Before getting on that racing track, find some time to talk to each other. If possible get up and do some exercising. It doesn’t have to be a full body workout. Something like meditation, yoga or some light stretching can do the trick. It’s not so much the activity but the sharing of space which can make the two of you feel better. The side benefit is it’s a great energy boost that can put you and your significant other in a good frame of mind as you ready yourselves for the rat race.
3. Not Going To Wait
You and your significant promise each other over and over again that you will take that actual long extended vacation. Yet something always comes up and you keep postponing it. Then you look around and are surprised to find out the relationship now seems stagnant. In fact just like the job it has become a chore. You are in it for no other reason than obligation.
That has happened to many a couple. Unless it is something extreme then the two of you need to make your vacation plans and stick to them. Do what you have to do on your job to make sure they don’t hand you any last second surprises which alter your plans. Talk to your significant other in terms like your vacation is already a done deal. Start packing some suitcases or keep checking the weather updates for your travel destination; anything that puts you in the mindset that you are going. End of story.
It’s a 24/7 world we live in. The time we have for ourselves and our relationships seems to be disappearing before our eyes. That can easily become the reality if you are not careful. For that reason it is essential that you fight for that quality time with your significant other. It’s tough with all the external demands that are put before us but when it comes to your relationship it is a fight worth having.